Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry, I can't be perfect.

As you might be able to tell, I'm a kind of love/hate kinda gal. As such, I have a long history of mocking things so incessantly that, the next thing I know, I kind of like them. For instance, my freshman year of college, my friends and I detested New Kids on the Block with such fervor, that we ironically picked favorites and subsequently began purchasing actual NKOTB merchandise. That plush Donnie Wahlberg doll* with the faux acid-washed jeans and horrifying tail of hair? I had it. I slept with that creepy thing, for God's sake.

The next year, Color Me Badd made it big on the scene and my roommates and I would "lovingly" serenade one another with "I adore ... mi amor" on a regular basis while striking random and ridiculous poses, as those freaks did in the video. About a month later, someone (it wasn't me, I swear!) actually brought the CD into our apartment and began playing it on a regular basis. Man, CMB really wanted to sex us up, didn't they?

And had you told me in 1997 that by 2004 I'd happily sing along to *NSync songs and own a Joey Fatone bobblehead*, even despite my noted past as an irony lover, I would've doubted you.

More recently, my pal Eric and I repeatedly found ourselves stumbling on that ridiculous Simple Plan video in which the lead singer whines incessantly on the rooftop about his much-flawed relationship with his dad—with which we promptly began loudly singing along on a regular basis, much to the presumed dismay of my neighbors. In fact, I've come to regard it as "our song."

So, yes, I've established that I'm not quite past my "this is so bad it's good" phase. I still wear the ironic T-shirt from time to time, albeit totally passé. And I'm increasingly okay with the fact that this actually might not be a phase at all and that it simply could be who I am. And the creation this blog is evidence that I'm beginning to accept and revel in that. Sort of.

That said, if anything could spark me to change my lifestyle, it would be today's selections. Some things really are so bad it's not funny to me. Granted, this is in part because the originals are two of my favorite songs ever. EVER. It's also in part because they suck. Really suck. Suck hard. Suck to the suck power.

Hear for yourselves.

  • Naomi Campbell "Ride a White Swan" (T. Rex cover) 3.4MB
    Come to think of it, this one's growing on me. Like a fungus. A fungus composed of chirping birds and off-key over-enunciation. Seriously, supermodels should be seen and not heard. No matter how many Japanese fans will buy your albums. And naming an album Babywoman? I won't even go into how I feel about that. (Note: Campbell has her own doll too.)

  • Public Toys "Disco 2000" (Pulp cover) 2.9MB
    Um, yeah.

    *"Ironic" gifts from friends.
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