If man is five.

Like most aging hipsters and/or indie kids who were still in diapers when Doolittle was originally released, I saw the Pixies last week. It was a good show, albeit surprisingly short and encore-free for the hard-earned dough I spent on it. And there weren't even any air-brushed paintings of the band in front of which to have my picture taken as there were at the R. Kelly/Jay-Z show I went to for free a month or two ago. What a gyp! (Holy crap, I'm 32 and I think, while typing that out, I just realized that gyp might be a derogatory term generating from stereotypes of gypsies. If so, my apologies!)

Anyhoo ... I saw the Pixies and lots of people like the Pixies. Unfortunately, very few of the bands who cover the Pixies appear to actually be even one-tenth as good, but they're certainly better than most of the predictable tracks on that stupid emoey (shut up, it's a word) tribute that came out a while back. I don't take enough drugs anymore to fully enjoy most of these tracks. But you might.

The first two are from Hey, a "CD" that's downloadable via a FrankBlack.net along with a Frank Black solo tribute. (Read how you too can get a hold of it here, if you have the patience.) Actually, the third song is on that too, although I got it initially from the Death to the Pixies, We're Better! (as if) tribute, from whence the fourth and fifth tracks come as well. The last track is from what I thought was a Japanese (but now appears not to be) Tribute to the Pixies, from which you might remember that insane version of "Debaser" by Feed I posted a while back.

Clootie "Holiday Song"
An interesting, somber take that kinda makes me want to slash my wrists.

Jonus "I've Been Tired"
I like Lou Reed, he said. And Dylan. And I sound like John Flansburg. And I sighed, "Ahhhhhh."

Mother Universe "Debaser"
This soooo could have been on the soundtrack to Electric Dreams. Or Kidd Video.

Pixels "Gigamuffin (Um, an instrumental Gigantic and a cat named Muffin?)"
Meow Meow like meow meow beats, whistles and sirens.

Koos Kreuk "Waar is mijn Hoofd? (Where is my Mind?)"
This was my favorite Pixies song until a few years ago when it wound up in Fight Club, which is weird considering I liked Fight Club. I'm kooky. Now that I've heard this harmonica-drenched version, I like it even less.

Seafood "Levitate Me"
This makes me miss the era in which I wanted to have sex with Britpoppers. Won't they please fawn over me???